He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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