Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
