i just google imaged poop.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
