Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
