the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
