But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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