So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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