i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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