Your tits are I can't wait for
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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