I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
