I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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