Dual....:-)
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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