every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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