what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
