I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
