There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
