I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
