I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
