This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
