The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
i think i just lost a toe
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
