in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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