i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
