if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
