Where did you get a picture of my penis
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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