Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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