your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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