I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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