i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
