Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
home. puking in laundry basket.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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