how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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