The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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