Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
