Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
