I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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