im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
