He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
