It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
