People in love make me want to vomit
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
