I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize