so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
