He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
