One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
