I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
