the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
