i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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