Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
