I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
