he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
