It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
