Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
