Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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