btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaÃt comercial?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
