The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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