Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
