The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I want a musical about memes.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
