I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
