Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize