new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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