I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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